Do You Require An Advice Slip?

Make time each week to let the word Schnubart

molest your tongue, about to unblock is better

than the unblocking, spend more time watching

ants, learn to skim an egg, seek out nature

documentaries that do not anthropomorphise

their protagonists, despite some initial promise

there is, in fact, limited comic potential for substituting

the words Liberian and librarian, do the washing up

so badly that you will never be asked to do it again,

wear a cloak sometime, seek opportunities to use

the word roustabout, force a cold caller to hang up

on you, the look on your brother’s face when his child

unwraps the trumpet you bought outweighs the cost,

lovingly lovingly, the dimensions of toilet cubicles

makes learning the maracas a viable option

while at the airport, behold the court sections

of provincial newspapers, because that is the why,

the humming of a fridge can soften the sound of time

dripping through the rafters, when out baiting badgers

ensure you put twigs down your britches

for they won’t release until they hear a snap.